June 6, 2013
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I’m Still Here
As I’ve said recently, I only disappear on the blog when traveling. That is, unless my back is acting up. And lo and behold for a second month in a row my back has been giving me grief, making me miss work and be overall useless when it comes to sitting down for long periods of time.
When it was as its worst (last Saturday) and I was unable to turn over without a sharp pain shooting through me, I was frustrated–naturally. Bad days like that scare me. I’m 36. I don’t want to be barely walking around like como un viejito.
Good news is, the back is getting better. Slowly. And it wasn’t as bad as say last month’s bout of back pain. And my acupuncturist and I are working to improve my situation. That is to say we think we’ve pinpointed what’s going on and are taking preventative measures.
Now I’ve been dealing with my back for a while. Since I was in high school. No wait, Jr. High. That was the initial injury. Then after college I threw my back out. Then a few years ago I strained it again.
So half a life time and multiple bouts of injury and pain. Nerve pain, muscle pain, sometimes just one, sometimes both together.
How bad is it? Well, on the really bad days it’s terrible. Otherwise it’s just annoying. But that annoying might be excruciating for someone else. I have no idea. I feel like my idea of lower back pain and my pain threshold have moved quite a bit off the normal person’s experience. Like right now, I’m uncomfortable. I’d rather be lying down. But I’m sitting and typing. Partly because I have to. Would someone else sit through this though?
The first time I threw out my back I could barely walk. Though I did manage to drive myself to the doctor and walk into and out of his office. That’s when I learned how many Motrin you can safely take. Speaking of which, I haven’t taken any pain medication in days, now that I think of it. I kinda of forget about pain meds, unless the pain is truly bad.
Like I said. I think my concept of pain is a bit different from people who’ve never had to quickly put their back against a wall when they feel a sneeze coming on. Why do I do that? Because of the pain that happens when I don’t. That kind of pain I do dread.
But back to writing.
I’m behind. Obviously. And I may have to devise a way to write while lying down otherwise nothing will get done. But do not fear. It will get done. I mean, if Frida Kahlo can live with her decades of pain and still paint, then I can find a way to write.
I will say this, lately the pain has me thinking. Thinking about my future. Lying on the floor of my office I came to a decision, one I’ll discuss here. But later. Later when the pain has subsided.
Soon. Hopefully soon.
-M
